Author |
Topic |
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2007 : 18:09:59
|
Come on....let's have some new jokes (clean ones please!)
Here's one: Guy goes round his mates house, as he walks in, he looks up and says to his mate 'blimey Sid, your ceiling ain't 'arf high' and Sid replies 'yeah...the missus wanted two rooms knocked into one'!!
Anyone got any more?? Come on Mr Angry....you must have a few to tell!! |
|
patty
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2007 : 18:21:21
|
its a bit long , but here goes....
In the year 2007 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard- but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed Building Regulations Approval and I've been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I should have obtained planning permission for building the Ark in my garden because it is development of the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure. We had to then go to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision.
Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many disabled carpenter's I'm supposed to hire for my building team. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only accredited workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. "
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The British government beat me to it."
|
any comments and views listed above are those of myself personally and not as a Parish Councillor, and in no way reflect opinions of the Parish Council or any other professional bodies |
|
|
John
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
499 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2007 : 19:10:00
|
Apologies to any Irish readers... no offence intended...it's just a joke.....
Paddy and Mick are walking past the church when Paddy says "Hang on a minute Mick, I need to go in the Church to get absolution".
In the confessional box....
Paddy: Forgive me Father I have sinned Priest: What have you done my son Paddy: I have committed adultery Priest: Oh dear. And who did you commit adultery with Paddy: Oh can't tell you that Father. Priest: Now come on my son. I can't give you absolution unless you tell me. Paddy: No I can't tell you Father. It wouldn't be fair on the lady Priest: You must tell me my son or I will not absolve you from your sin. Paddy: No sorry Father. It wouldn't be right or fair to tell you her name. Priest: Now come on my son. Tell me...was it Ruth O'Reilly Paddy: No Father it wasn't Priest: Well was it Mary O'Shea Paddy : No Father it wasn't. I'm not telling you so I'm leaving now.
And with that Paddy leaves the church and meets Mick outside.
"Ok Paddy?" says Mick "Did the Priest give you absolution.
"No he didn't" replies Paddy..... "But he gave us 2 certs for Saturday night"
|
|
|
Mr Angry
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1272 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2007 : 22:08:10
|
Vey good, very good.
LOL even!
OK here we go - this is sort of clean....
Guy gets on a plane, takes his aisle seat - sees an absolutely stunning redhead strutting confidently up the aisle.
He thinks - Oh my God - this must be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life.
She gets closer and slows down, looks at her boarding card and says "Excuse me - I have the seat next to you"
The guy's throat goes dry as he stands to let her squeeze past him and take her seat.
He knows he just has to strike up a conversation without looking or sounding like a complete dribbling mess - composes himself, practices opening lines in his mind.
Suddenly he blurts out "Businessorpleasure?" followed by a faint whimper.
"Oh - business" she said and flashed him a smile that melted his very soul - but he'd broken the ice - he felt more confident now.
"Oh - really - what sort of business?"
"I'm attending an International nymphomaniacs' convention in New York - guest speaker"
OMG!!!! the most fabulous woman I have ever seen, sitting next to me - and a nymphomaniac?
"Wh .... Whhhh Whhhhaa ... What do you speak about?"
"Oh, I mainly dispell a lot of myths"
"Er, such as?"
"Well, for example - most people assume that the African American male is the best endowed, he is not - the NATIVE American Indian is!"
"Really?"
"Oh yes, also most women think that the French Male is the best performer - untrue - it's the GREEK male"
"Really?"
"OH yes - also, a very little known and surprising fact - the best all-rounder is the Irishman!"
"REALLY"
"Oh yes - and ...." She touched his arm and said "I'm so sorry - I really shouldn't be talking to you about such things - I don't even know your name"
The guy loosened his collar and said
"Tonto ..... Tonto Papadopulus .... but my friends call me Mick"
|
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis |
|
|
Mr Angry
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1272 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2007 : 22:21:40
|
A scotsman says to his wife...
"Put your coat on - I'm going for a pint"
"Oooh" she said "Are you taking me with you?"
"NO" he said "I'm turning the heating off!"
|
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 18:43:23
|
What's the definition of an ideal marriage? One is always right.........
and the other one is the husband! |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 18:47:01
|
Woman says to her husband 'I look fat and I look ugly, give me a compliment to make me feel better' so the husband says 'well...there's nothing wrong with your eyesight'! |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
Mr Angry
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1272 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 23:34:41
|
Went shopping with Mrs A the other day.
Went in the first shop ..... "Does my bum look big in this?"
"Oh - no darling - in fact I'd say there was lots of room"
Next shop ..."Does my bum look big in this?"
Etc etc etc
FIFTEENTH bleedin' shop - "Does my bum look big in this?"
"Actually yes - it looks bloody massive - in fact I don't know how you got it in"
"What do you MEAN?"
"Well - this is a very small shop!"
|
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis |
|
|
John
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
499 Posts |
Posted - 13 Nov 2007 : 19:29:11
|
This is (apparently) a true story.
The air traffic controllers at Frankfurt airport are notoriously bad tempered. Some time ago a British Airways flight landed at Frankfurt and was told by ATC to taxi to gate 23. The pilot was unsure where gate 23 was and asked for directions. For ***** sake said the ATC " have you not been to Frankfurt before?" "Yes I have" replied the BA pilot. "But it was in 1943. And I didn't land" [:x)][;^)]
|
|
|
neil
Forum Owner / Moderator
United Kingdom
2623 Posts |
Posted - 16 Nov 2007 : 08:55:55
|
Heard on SC Radio this morning:
Question: "How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?"
Answer: "a buck-an-eer"! |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 03 Dec 2007 : 18:06:24
|
Did you know that they don't have doorbells in Egypt? It's true,they use horns on their doors with a sign saying 'just toot n come in' |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 06 Dec 2007 : 18:07:15
|
Not saying that my mates a bit thick but the other day i asked him what sugar diabetes was and he said 'a Welsh middleweight boxer'![;^)] |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
Edited by - cardodger on 06 Dec 2007 18:08:36 |
|
|
Nigel
Senior Member
United Kingdom
238 Posts |
Posted - 08 Dec 2007 : 17:39:10
|
Woolworths have reduced the price of their teddy bears this Christmas as they don't wish to be seen to make a prophet out of them. |
Never judge what you don't understand. |
|
|
the blacksmith
New Member
United Kingdom
1 Posts |
Posted - 08 Dec 2007 : 17:51:28
|
two parrots sitting on a perch. one says to the other can you smell fish? |
|
|
Mr Angry
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1272 Posts |
Posted - 08 Dec 2007 : 20:49:29
|
Two fish in a tank - one says to the other "Can you drive this?"
|
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis |
|
|
macca
Advanced Member
320 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 09:46:47
|
Santa claus goes to the doctor he says he has a mince pie stuck up his bottom the doctor replies..ive got some cream for that![88] |
"Humans debating theology is like ants debating computers" Moby |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 10:59:51
|
What are the two fastest fish in the world????? A motorpike and sidecarp!![:u] |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
neil
Forum Owner / Moderator
United Kingdom
2623 Posts |
Posted - 20 Dec 2007 : 16:34:14
|
SANTA'S FRUSTRATING DAY One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems everywhere.
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of cider and a shot of rum. When he got to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider bottle, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then, the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have this beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
...and so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree...
|
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 22 Feb 2008 : 18:26:57
|
I had a close call whilst eating a giant bowl of mueseli(?) this morning. I nearly got pulled in by a strong current! |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
Lulu
Advanced Member
337 Posts |
Posted - 22 Feb 2008 : 22:00:50
|
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped and turned round and returned to the gate. After an hour long delay, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the Flight Attendant "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot!!" |
|
|
John
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
499 Posts |
Posted - 30 May 2008 : 10:14:20
|
Heard about that new vodka drink ? It's called "Terry's"
Bottled in Moscow. |
|
|
Mr Angry
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1272 Posts |
Posted - 30 May 2008 : 16:59:23
|
Only available over the bar?
|
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 01 Aug 2008 : 18:48:40
|
I had a man at my door today. He kept me listening to him for half an hour, trying to convince me that eating nothing but wholemeal bread was the best thing for me.
That's the last time I open the door for a Jahovis Witness! |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
Edited by - cardodger on 01 Aug 2008 18:49:55 |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 01 Aug 2008 : 19:06:05
|
Here's another one. A bit long though but here goes!
Teacher asks the class for 3 pupils to volunteer to come up to the blackboard and draw something which would cause people to panic.
Lucy puts her hand up and comes up to the board. She draws a picture of a gun. "Why would a gun cause a panic Lucy?", asked the teacher. Lucy replied "well, if someone walked down the street with a gun, that would cause a panic" "Very good" replied the teacher, "anyone else?"
Sophie puts her hand up and goes up to the blackboard. She draws a picture of a huge spider. "Why would a big spider cause a panic Sophie?" the teacher asked. Sophie says "If a big spider ran across the floor in here, I know I would panic" "Excellent Sophie, well done" the teacher said, "come on, one more volunteer" Young Johnny at the back of the classroom puts his hand up and goes up to the blackboard. He draws a big X on the board. The teacher looks puzzled and says to Johnny "Johnny, how can a big X cause anyone to panic?" Johnny replies " Well Miss, my big sister is 16 and once a month she puts an X on the calendar, she didn't last month and that's caused a panic"!!!!!!!!!!![:u] |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
neil
Forum Owner / Moderator
United Kingdom
2623 Posts |
Posted - 01 Aug 2008 : 19:35:21
|
At last a bit of fun on the Forums!! Let's have some more jokes. |
|
|
Mr Angry
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1272 Posts |
Posted - 01 Aug 2008 : 20:55:50
|
Gordon Brown visits a primary school - walks in to a class of 9 yr olds, that happens to include a certain Johnny Jones.
(Teacher) "Ah, Prime Minister - children, this is Gordon Brown, our Prime Minister. Mr Brown, we are discussing the word 'Tragedy' - maybe you'd like to carry on for us?"
(Brown) "OK - so, children, who can define the word 'tragedy'?"
A girl puts her hand up "Well, I live on a farm and if my daddy ran me over on his tractor and killed me - that would be a tragedy"
(Brown) "NO! - that would be an ACCIDENT"
A small boy puts his hand up "If my school bus went over a cliff and all 50 of us were killed - that would be a tragedy"
(Brown) "NO! - that would be a GREAT LOSS"
All goes quiet, then little Johnny Jones raises his hand ...........
"If you an' Darlin' wuz lahk in a 'elicopter, flyin' over Iraq and lahk got 'it and killed an' stuff by friendly fire - THAT would be a tragedy innit"
(Brown) "YES - you are correct - that WOULD be a tragedy indeed - and can you explain WHY that would be a tragedy?"
(Johnny) "Well, man it would be lahk no great loss for sho', and probably no friggin' arksident eevah" |
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis |
Edited by - Mr Angry on 01 Aug 2008 20:59:55 |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 01 Aug 2008 : 21:03:28
|
It's true that kids seem to grow up faster these days....how about this....a true story!
My 7 year old daughter asked me the other day "what's your name?"
I replied "daddy"
Then she asked "what do you smell with?"
I said "nose"
Then she held out her empty hand and asked "what's in my hand?"
I said "nothing"
She said "that's right, Daddy nose nothing"!!!
Cheeky scallywag but I had to laugh! |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 30 Aug 2008 : 18:02:47
|
Murphy goes to the Doctor and explains that all is not well with his sex life. The Doctor says, 'well Murphy, what you need is more exercise to give you more stamina, so what I want you to do is start running 10 miles a day' 'Ok Doc, i'll give it a go' says Murphy. The Doctor says 'I want you to call me in a fortnight, to let me know if there is any improvement' So off Murphy goes.....a fortnight later he phones the Doctor. 'Ah hello Murphy, how's the sex life now then?', the Doctor asks. 'Dunno', replies Murphy.' I'm 140 miles from home'!!![;^)] |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
uskoks
Average Member
United Kingdom
74 Posts |
Posted - 30 Aug 2008 : 21:30:57
|
Hope it's not too rude for a wide audience but I loved this :)
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time .
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.' |
|
|
uskoks
Average Member
United Kingdom
74 Posts |
Posted - 30 Aug 2008 : 21:36:24
|
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!! |
|
|
uskoks
Average Member
United Kingdom
74 Posts |
Posted - 30 Aug 2008 : 21:38:11
|
Important Tips to Follow
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS....... REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. |
|
|
uskoks
Average Member
United Kingdom
74 Posts |
Posted - 30 Aug 2008 : 21:40:21
|
Nutrition
After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink whatever the hell you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you, |
|
|
cardodger
Senior Member
United Kingdom
151 Posts |
Posted - 31 Aug 2008 : 08:54:37
|
Usoks, these are great.... must have taken ages to type all that in!!! |
My glass is always half full....never half empty....what about you?? |
|
|
compost
Advanced Member
265 Posts |
Posted - 31 Aug 2008 : 22:23:40
|
What were Barn Owls called before we had barns!!
Just how fit is a fiddle?
What made Larry so happy.
Save money on expensive binoculars - stand closer to what you want to look at. |
|
|
Mr Angry
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1272 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2008 : 00:08:57
|
quote: Originally posted by compost
What were Barn Owls called before we had barns!!
Big issue owls?
quote: Just how fit is a fiddle?
http://www.abc.net.au/newsradio/txt/s2321969.htm
quote: What made Larry so happy.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-lar1.htm
quote: Save money on expensive binoculars - stand closer to what you want to look at.
Or use them in the same way as the police/authorities use them in Angmering - look through the wrong end - that recovers the cost of the binos over and over!
(Edit - note missing smiley)
|
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis |
Edited by - Mr Angry on 01 Sep 2008 00:18:00 |
|
|
compost
Advanced Member
265 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2008 : 18:20:38
|
Class act Mr Angry, very impressed. Can you assist with these.
Do blind people go on deaf dates!!
How can you have a self-help group?
And the old favorite .....Why is there only one monopolies commission. |
|
|
John
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
499 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2008 : 19:10:41
|
And what was the greatest thing before sliced bread ?? |
|
|
compost
Advanced Member
265 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2008 : 20:30:41
|
Not a joke, but a riddle for you
The Missing Pound
Three friends go for a meal, when they ask for the bill the waiter says "£30". Each friend gives £10 to the waiter, after a few moments the waiter notices that he has made a mistake and the bill was actually £25. He is in two minds as to what to do with the £5 over, he decides to give each of the three friends a £1 back each - thus pocketing £2 for himself. Now each friend has paid £9 for their meal, 3 x £9 = £27, the waiter has £2 in his pocket. £27 + £2 = £29??? where is the other pound.
|
|
|
John
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
499 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2008 : 21:13:38
|
Ah.. I know this one compost. The trick is in the way you phrase the question.....
The meal cost £25. If each person gets £1 back then the total paid is £27. Which means that the waiters £2 "tip" has been included in the £27. £25 for the meal, £3 refund, £2 tip...total £30
Voila !!
It's a good one tho. |
|
|
Voice of Reason
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
521 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2008 : 22:40:42
|
From the front page......
"The next film will be on Saturday 4 October when "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" will be shown, two months before general release"
Now that must have been a joke Neil.......it was released in May 2008!.....I think you must mean the DVD release.
TeeHee
VoR [88] |
|
|
neil
Forum Owner / Moderator
United Kingdom
2623 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2008 : 23:04:11
|
You're quite right VoR. I blindly copied the note given to me. News item now corrected! |
|
|
Topic |
|